Right this very moment

Never fails that dates seem to still sneak up on me sometimes. August 2nd. Of course. I knew it was coming up. It crossed my mind ever so briefly one day last week. And then got to work this morning and saw my calender was still on July. Turned it to August and -bam- there it is. Always makes it so much worse when I'm already having a bad day... and then am forced to 'remember that I forgot.'

Today is my sister Amy's birthday. We're supposed to be out somewhere right now having a glass of wine, raising our nice wine glasses into the air over our corner table in our favorite place.... clinking our glasses together, laughing, smiling, and making enough noise to disturb the people at the table next to us.... talking about the memories of her past birthdays... how much trouble we got in together when we were young...

That's what we're supposed to be doing... right this very moment. Right this very moment, I'd say, "You know you actually look younger than you did this time last year. I can barely see those crowes feet and that gray hair," (this is me pointing out that one gray hair). And she'd smack my hand away and we would laugh. (After she pointed out my gray hair.)

That's what we're supposed to be doing right this very moment. Right this very moment, we'd get all serious and I'd tell her about my problems. And even though she's heard them all before she would listen contently as if it was all new. And she would hug me and tell me she loves her little sister. Right at this very moment.

Right at this very moment, I am wishing with all of my heart that this could all be a true story, that you'd seen more birthdays than you did.

Seven. Ha. It's supposed to be your lucky number Amy.

Not the number of candles on your last cake.

Right at this very moment.

Love you. If I had a glass of wine I'd raise it to you. To my big sister. Happy Birthday Amy Sue.